Waiting For Excuses
by Lysimachus
Summary: You bloody idiot. You can have her. I'm done." RemusxLily, JamesxLily


_Disclaimer: I don't won Harry Potter._

_(A/N): A little drabble I came up with while watching The Good Shepherd. Eddie Redmayne's fantastic. But anyways, just a little scene below. Title and lyrics are from Angels and Airwaves song "It hurts" (I mean not hate against LIly and James. Without them we wouldn't have Harry! :D who isn't the brightest of bulbs, but hey, we take what we can get) haha enjoy. and feel free to leave behind some critique and your nice and not very nice opinions. i appreaciate them all._

_let me explain if you think it's a little out of character--well, we don't really know what they were like back then, do we? and all the Lily hate happening, humiliation can happen to anyone. even the best of people._

_

* * *

__I'm waiting for excuses that deceive, I'll meet you in the back to see them through._

_How did I let her inside? We're dripping of sweat,_

_I'm feeling alright._

_Her lips were the last thing touched tonight._

_Your best friend is not your girlfriend._

_Are you out of your mind? _

_You dug yourself into a liar's hole._

_You made a little spark to live inside, _

_It's now a fucking fire out of control._

_And when the morning comes, you'll act surprised. _

_And when the word gets out, it will get old._

_And every day, you'll live your life and every little scandal will unfold._

_Her lips were the last thing touched tonight._

* * *

Walking the hallways, she knows they're whispering whore. _Have you heard what she did to Remus Lupin? The poor boy. __Didn't look very happy to begin with. Now he looks even sadder.__She did it. Her and that Potter._

Well what did they want anyway? Weren't these the same people that wanted her with James? That thought her and Remus were a horrible couple?

What—did—everyone—_want_?

Lily doesn't know, and she doesn't care. And nowadays, all she does is cry.

How did they get to this point? Her best friend and boyfriend, same person all in one, gone. All due to a second of misjudgment. But that's all it takes, doesn't it? It takes anger and hurt and saddness and desire for comfort to make a mistake as big as this. She bumped into him on the way to Potions the other day. It was horrible, he was so mad it a piece of her just rips itself in two. Oh, Merlin. She's too young to be broken.

Thinks back to the night it all went wrong, and tries to feel what he felt that night.

It's her form of self-punishment. Don't judge. Or—wait—go ahead. That seems to be all people do in this day and age.

* * *

_it ends tonight. _Sees his hands running through her messy red hair and the way she's _not _pulling him off.

James seems oblivious to him whereas Lily finally notices another presence in the room. Animatedly pushes Potter away from her like a disease. If only she did that a tad bit earlier, they wouldn't be in this mess.

Her eyeliner running raccoons rim around her emerald eyes is smudged like dirt discarded on yesterday's boots. The whites of her eyes are pink (he gets it. They fought and she cried and ran away, ran right into James Perfect Potter's arms--wait, did he mean to sound scornful? Oh, perhaps). Face is sullen and has gone pale at the shock of seeing him—Remus—in the doorway with the most miserable yet accepting look on his face.

She cries even more. He's not aware that the hurt in his expression just kills her sometimes. Again, should've thought of that earlier.

He had come down here to apologize, the sight of the only girl he's ever loved kissing one of his very few friends—this is how he's repaid. Like cents to dollars and it doesn't make much of a difference because he's smarter than this and he should've seen it coming.

She's straightening her skirt in a heavy panic and James is looking a little too comfortable and defiant getting caught snogging his best friend's girlfriend (_"Because you stole her first. You stole her first, Remus") _he's probably thinking that.

_Are you happy James, with this puppy love game of finder's keepers? It's getting a little old. _He wants to say.

"It's not what it looks like!" she cries. Gets up from the floor, still a little shaken. "Remus, please—it's—it's not—it's _not_! I was mad and sad and—oh please just listen to me!"

And Remus can't help but narrow his eyes and try to restrict his scorn, shaking his head, eyes float to the ceiling since this is all just too ridiculous.

He wants to say, oh, fuck you. Both of you. But he's all too polite and all too Remus and he can practiaclly picture the shameful look he'd get from his mother is she knew he swore. So all he's going to end up doing is leaving without more than maybe a sentence (if that) and a detached tinge of maturity on his worn seventeen year old face.

Because this is _exactly _what it looks like.

He's not stupid. He maybe a lot of things, like a fool, a push over, and a little tired, but Remus Lupin is no idiot.

No, he'll leave the idiocy to the two teenagers on the floor in each other's arms.

He's tired of pretending he never saw the way they looked at each other, pretended that Lily's "hate" really was just that, tired of pretending that James really was okay with all of it.

Just plain tired.

"Mate, c'mon, just listen," James says. It's a little late and not very regretful and so it doesn't mean much to Remus.

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his knows. Says something like, "You bloody idiot. You can have her. I'm done."

And leaves.

But not before slamming the door behind him, and he knows that doing that probably made her cry even harder.

Takes a step forward out of the hallway because he simply doesn't care if it did.

* * *

She can't say she blames him.


End file.
